Almost 30

I noticed this article circulating on social media over the past few days.

Sounds pretty familiar, no?

I thought so too.

And since I just so happen to have recently moved to a new city where I didn’t know anyone except the person I moved with, I clicked on the article, fully expecting 3 minutes of warm and fuzzies and ‘oh yeah that’s totally me’ moments. Instead, I drafted an entire blog post full of sarcastic rebuttals in my head.

Why you might ask?

When I moved to Chicago I was in my early 20s and this article would have been right up my alley. New chance at a career? Awesome. New friends? Sure why not? Random parties. I love random parties.

But now here I stand, rapidly approaching my 30th birthday and with a completely different perspective on the subject. So here we have it. Reasons why moving to a new city in your early 20s is completely different from moving in your late 20s.

Let’s start with the opening paragraphs because she almost lost me there. I probably should have realized at that point this article was clearly suited for someone far younger than I, but I like a challenge.

Freedom from responsibility, mortgages and children in your late 20s? No chance. And even if you don’t have children yet, chances are 85% of your friends do so you might as well check the box anyway.
The good news? All those things make you feel like a contributing member of society. Everyone has to graduate from Skol vodka eventually. Am I right?

Early 20s: You’ll make new friends who are refreshingly different from your old ones
Almost 30: Whoa, whoa, whoa Nelly. You shut your mouth right now. I like my friends. And they are my friends because we survived our 20s together, whether we remember it or not. If I want a clean slate I will drive myself to Lowe’s and buy some Martha Stewart chalk paint thank you very much.

 

Early 20s: You’ll be introduced to new and exciting ways to have fun
Almost 30: Are you implying that my Saturday morning trip to the farmers market is not exciting enough? Well you obviously have not experienced the rush of fresh produce. Meet me at the wine bar and I’ll explain over a bottle of rosé. No not white zin. The good stuff.

Early 20s: You’ll develop the social ease to walk into a party on your own and not even bat an eyelid
Almost 30: No you won’t. Unless it’s a networking opportunity, no chance you are flying solo. Some things never change. Thanks to your smart phone though, you will get better at eating lunch alone so you have that going for you.

Early 20s: You’ll be able to do something shocking with your appearance without anyone noticing
Almost 30: Unless you plan on never leaving the house, I wouldn’t recommend this. You are almost 30. Why are you just now considering a dramatic makeover? If you are a new mom and you are chopping off your hair because you don’t have time to shower then you get a free pass. Otherwise let it be. I don’t care if the last photos tagged of you on Facebook were in 2009, people will notice. Remember Britney.

Early 20s: You’ll learn to enjoy your own company
Almost 30: You know yourself so well that frankly you’re getting a little tired of talking to her. You may have just told the lady at the dog park your 5-year plan and people have stopped noticing how often you talk to the dog. Good news. FaceTime is a lifesaver.

Early 20s: You’ll learn to grow and develop as a person.
Almost 30: Can’t argue that. As scary as moving to a new city where you know virtually no one can be, it does force you to take risks and refocus. A challenge I think we can all agree is beneficial at any age.