In my life I try really hard to be a compassionate person. Someone who puts herself in others’ shoes before judging them. Kind, generous and the like. But I’ve come to realize that there are just some things even a mean-weller just can’t understand.
Here are just a few of those things:
- People who make the extra effort to pull out and carefully place the paper toilet seat covers and then leave the stall without flushing them down the toilet? So now there is physical evidence of yourbutt on that particular seat and you expect me to dispose of it before then using the same toilet? I’ll stick to hovering over anonymous pee drops in the next stallthankyouverymuch.
- That in the time it took me to run three miles on the treadmill, these two guys didn’t move anything but their mouths in the weight section. I’m all for small conversation, but let’s get serious guys. I’m really out of shape and you just sat on the incline ab bench talked for 3 straight miles. That’s a Seinfeld episode, the clock-time of half a basketball game and/or a massage at a spa’s worth of chatter.
- Drivers who slow down when they get to an on ramp on the interstate. And we’re coming around the curve going 45 and there’s the merge lane and oh golly, oh golly there’s another car three lanes over. I think I’ll just come to a stop here and wait for everyone else to swerve around my bumper. Should I put it in reverse? No. Justno.
- Any version of the following things at the gym: Denim, work clothes, wearing your long hair down, going shoeless and milk jugs filled with water. Are you working out or preparing to water-board someone?
- Why for the life of me I can’t remember that my washing machine likes to walk itself in front of the door if I shut it. I’ve now locked myself out of my own laundry room at least 4 times. I wonder how many times I have to do it before I get relieved of my laundry duties?
- False advertising. How does one know a neighborhood will be friendly when it hasn’t even been built yet? And last time I checked there was no grocery store or gym in our neighborhood so how the heck am I going to save on groceries?
- Affliction shirts. Ohio State fans in affliction shirts. Ohio State fans in affliction shirts and silver cowboy hats in a honky-tonk line dancing.
I know I’m not the only one out there with concerns that never seem to make sense so I’d love to hear yours in the comments below!