Workout Wednesday: How NOT to run outside in the winter

This workout Wednesday is being remotely broadcast from Antarctica!

OK not really. But it might as well be.

In case you are confused, that would be Chicago weather on the left.

Irritated, annoyed and angry don’t even encompass the attitude of Chicagoans this week. We’re breaking records set back in the 1800’s and we’re not the least bit excited about it. There’s a frigid air of complete apathy.

It was a mix of apathy and willfulness that led me to do my long run outside on Saturday morning, despite the cold temps. As a result, I bring you a few tips on How NOT to run outside in the winter:

Break your own rules. Go ahead. Run outside when temps are far below your 30-degree temperature threshold. Don’t worry about the windchill and definitely overestimate the power of the sun this time of year. Who’s going to know the difference between windburn and a day at the beach anyway?

Hit the Riverwalk. Literally, with your backside. And don’t give up when you see the first portion is icier than the cube at Sochi. You’ve already made it this far. Follow the frozen footprints that a much taller stranger left several days prior for the next half a mile. It’s just like doing lunges really.

Stop frequently. It’s not like your body is accustomed to the treadmill and your lungs still getting used to cold air. Go ahead and stop frequently to avoid falling or to capture the moment. Crippling side stitches are kind of fun to revisit every few years.

(note: to quickly get rid of a side-stitch or cramp, place your tongue on the roof of your mouth and breathe through your nose)

Forget about pace. Who needs it? You can no longer feel your arms and you want this run to be over as fast as humanly possible. Don’t worry about getting into a rhythm or over-stressing your sensitive legs. You’re in a solo race against frostbite and you’re barely in first-place.

If you haven’t gathered by now, these tips are all meant to be taken with extreme sarcasm. All things considered, I am glad I did my long run outside this weekend. Being out in the elements for an hour is better than being stuck on a treadmill for the equivalent any day. Except maybe today.

22 days until spring. 22 days until spring!

Have a great workout!